Rapunzel in 1105 Words
by TripleMelody
Summary: A retelling of the traditional fairy tale, with a feminist pharmacist named Polly, a dancer named Prince, a tower-like tree house, some attempts at humour, and, of course, a beautiful singer with ridiculously long blonde hair named Rapunzel.


**Once upon a time**, there was a young couple, Amy and Arnold, who had been hoping they would have a child for several years. Eventually, Amy became pregnant with a baby girl, but she grew very sick and needed a kind of medicine known as "Rapunzel" so that she could have a healthy pregnancy. Arnold loved her deeply and, since they were poor and didn't have health insurance, he would break into the local pharmacy and steal the medicine for her. When he broke in the third time, he was caught by the pharmacist, who threatened to turn him over to the police.

"Please, my pregnant wife desperately needs this medicine and we can't afford it," Arnold pleaded with the pharmacist.

As it turned out, Polly the pharmacist had a soft spot for kids and, since she despised all men and wanted nothing to do with them, she figured this was her only chance to ever have a daughter. A daughter who she would raise to loathe men and become a spokesperson for women's rights and feminists worldwide.

"Okay, I'll make a deal with you. I will give you the Rapunzel for free and, in exchange, you have to give me your child when she's born. Deal?" Polly extended her hand and Arnold reluctantly shook it.

Months later, Arnold sadly parted with his beautiful daughter and Polly named her new child "Rapunzel" after the medicine that brought her into her life. Rapunzel grew up into a sweet girl, with long blonde hair, and a voice that made birds come flocking around her whenever she sang (well, at least that's what Polly said when she bragged to all her friends and family).

After the first day of Grade 10, Rapunzel came home giggling and blushing. To Polly's horror, Rapunzel had a crush . . . on a boy! So, to teach her ignorant daughter a lesson, she sent Rapunzel to an all-girls school, run by feminist teachers who emphasized women's rights in all their lessons. One day, when Rapunzel was singing in the choir room, a boy walked in.

"Have you ever performed on Broadway?"

"No, I haven't. And who are you?"

The boy smiled and held out his hand.

"I'm Prince - the choir director's son. Sometimes I come and help out my Mom. By the way, you should try out for some musicals. I could set up some auditions for you, if you want."

Rapunzel accepted his hand and was immediately twirled around, dipped, and caught. There was awe in her eyes as she gazed up at him.

"Did I mention I'm a dancer?"

And from that moment on, the pair became inseparable. They would meet up after school and practice musical numbers, and each day, they gradually fell more in love with each other.

After a few months, Polly pulled Rapunzel out of school for some "mother and daughter bonding time in the forest." Polly subscribed to _Mothers and Daughters: How to Live Together and Not Want to Pull Each Other's Hair Out_. This month, the magazine had mentioned taking a trip together and how "exploring the wonders of nature" can bring a mom and daughter closer together (Polly took the article very seriously). They lived in a tree house, which Rapunzel couldn't leave since she was afraid of heights. Whenever Polly would want to come up she would say: "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!" for Rapunzel's hair had gotten ridiculously long (since she was terrified of hairdressers and refused to ever get her hair cut) and it served as a rope when climbing up the ladder.

A few weeks later, Prince just so happened to be walking in that very forest (for the record, he was _not _stalking Rapunzel, and he also did _not_ attach a tracking device to her hair, or pull some favours with the FBI to get her location). In the distance, he heard a woman's voice call out: "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!"

Using some of his ballet training, he leapt from bush to bush, and eventually found the tree house . . . where the love of his life's head was hanging out of the window while an older lady used her hair to climb up to the top.

'_I must save my love before she develops permanent neck problems! It could wreck her future Broadway career!'_ Prince thought to himself. So he waited until the woman had left and then he ran over to the ladder. However, it was very steep and soon he found himself stuck halfway up it. So, swallowing his pride, he called out: "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, please throw down your insanely long hair before I fall to my death!"

When Rapunzel looked down to see the face of her beloved Prince, she immediately flung her hair down towards him. Unfortunately the hair fell on top of him, making him lose his grip and fall back to the ground (this had to do with the fact that her hair was quite heavy, and nothing to do with the gentleman in question's upper body strength). Rapunzel, alarmed by his sudden descent, pulled her hair back up, tied the end to the treehouse, and then - seemingly forgetting her fear of heights - swiftly climbed down the ladder.

"Prince, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Rapunzel. I'm probably going to have to go through intensive physio-therapy after this, but it's totally worth it for you. You know when I was stuck up there, not knowing if I was going to make it to the top or not, there was only one thing on my mind . . . I love you, Rapunzel."

"Oh, Prince!" Rapunzel dramatically flung herself into his arms, tears streaking across her face. "Of course I'll marry you!"

There was an awkward silence.

"Heh, heh . . . I mean, I love you, too," Rapunzel quickly covered for her mistake. Luckily for her, Prince was in too much pain to notice (his back felt like it was on fire), so he only heard the last part.

"Let's blow this popsicle stand," Prince said, using the universal knight-in-shining-armour lingo. Leaping to his feet, then doubling over in pain, he handed Rapunzel his Swiss Army Knife, which she very reluctantly used to cut off her hair.

Together, they made their escape. Polly was never heard from again, much to everyone's relief. A few weeks later, Rapunzel was reunited with her real parents, who were ecstatic to see their beautiful daughter again. Several months after that, Rapunzel and Prince became two of the youngest Broadway stars, and their parents proudly cheered them on during their opening night performance.

**And they all lived happily ever after.**


End file.
